Are you Black first or a woman first? Are you gay first or Hispanic first? Are you a woman first or a lesbian first?

You know I have never been asked if I’m white first or a woman first. Neither have I asked if I am heterosexual first. The assumption is I’m a woman first because that’s my “outsider” status.

If you have more than one outsider status, you get asked to chose a lot and then judged on your choice. Think about Sally Ride who even after she was dead for heavens sake, was criticized because she wasn’t a lesbian first. Think of all the Black feminists who are constantly asked if they are Black first or a woman first.

Now think about asking Mitt Romney or Harry Reid if they are men first or white first? Gee what do you think their answers might be?

So how come we are only asked to make choices about what part of us is “first” for those parts that aren’t considered the norm?

(These are the kinds of questions that have been coming up as Andrea and I talk about identity).